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At home we have tried pins, stars, and just about everything else...
But short of the infuriated whisper of consequences to come, discipline in public is always a touchy subject in our pitiful society.
I can't stand the mom that you see getting screamed at by her own child!
I'm the mom who old men walk up to and say "they were soooo well behaved that whole time!"
Enforcing the rules is Especially important when the outing is an EXTREMELY BORING one!
How behavior bands began was during one such outing.
I have seriously long hair, so I always carry an extra elastic hairband on my wrist. One afternoon Sweet P asked if she could wear my hairband on her wrist... no problem! She likes "being like mommy".
At one point she was snapping it and twisting it, so I asked her "do you want me to take your band away?"
She immediately gave me a quiet pitiful look like I had just threatened to blow up her favorite doll or something...
Losing a band was worse punishment than scolding her... ACCIDENTAL GENIOUS! And Behavior Bands were born!
I've now been using this method for about a year, and my already well behaved kids are now even MORE behaved! God is Great!!!
Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.
…………………………………………………………………
How it works:
It is basically a portable behavior chart.
~ Before we leave the house TBone & SweetP each pick out 3 bands for the day (they don’t have to match because once the kids figure out that losing bands = consequences… they WONT share their bands with Anyone!)
~ For simple things I'll be nice enough to give ONE warning, "Next time, I'm going to take a band away!" (Be diligent, no more than one warning EVER! They will take advantage of you if they think they can!)
~ For misbehaviors that I believe they should know better, I immediately take a band away! "You know you are not allowed to _____!"
Rewards & Punishments:
@ "Playtime" Events: Quite simple- If ANYONE loses all three bands, then their fun day is over, and I get to go home and relax for the rest of the day. (Yes, their siblings will be mad at them. This will encourage the bad kid be behave better next time!)
@ "Business" Outings: (Errands, Appointments, Classes, Practices, Shopping, etc.)
~ All 3 bands remain = a simple reward I designate OR a token in their jar (their choice)
~ Each band removed = take a token away from their jar
~ No bands left = Punishment when we get home (if they decide to cry about the fact that they have no bands left, the punishment will be increased and they know it!)
(They could gain 1 token or lose 3 tokens- unfair? yes! - - - It's also unfair to Daddy & Mommy that they were misbehaving in Public!)
The reason it works so well is because there is no reminding, no counting, no repeating…
They know exactly what is going to happen because they can actually SEE where they are behaviorally for the day. They also know exactly what will happen because it doesn't ever change!
0 = reward; 1 = lose a token; 2 = lose two tokens; 3 = lose three tokens & You're in trouble buddy…
Every time! No Exceptions!
If they even think about asking for some back… how about, no.
One cool thing about all this is that they have a clean slate tomorrow!
Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.
I love my family much more than anything in the whole world! I have expectations for them; expectations to prosper them and not to harm them; expectations to give them hope and a future.
The day they despair is the same day my heart will be unbearably broken!
So if being a bit strict will keep them on a good path… I'll be the tedious mom for their sake!
The BEST part is… I don’t have to be… 98% of the time they are soo well behaved that I can just sit back and enjoy being "I love you Mom."
